This is not the end......

hi frens...;')

i do believe that now most of u knew d whole story rite..? i still cant believe that it actually happened to me..but yes,i, as one of His creations must accept this fact..it's fate and i do believe everything happens for a reason...

i'd received d letter on last saturday 18/8...class finished at 5pm and i went straight to home...I actually felt something was gonna happen that day since morning but i ignored the feeling cos i didnt wanna think too much. The last class for the day was Spanish and it was our first class..didnt know that the first Spanish class i attended would be my last one as well..;'( the four of us was eager to learn and by the next class we should be ready with our own spanish names..i know someone was gonna name herself Anastacia;p, au bah Liyana, i wont take ur name jua kali ah, takut lagi tu, pkirnya i wanna ambil d name;p and if i were to take that name fren, u know i wont be able to... and another wanted to name herself as something which means stars..i couldnt recall ah d nama zat hehe..and d other fren came up with this "smart" idea kan suruh me naming myself as sumthing bonita..which means pa nah kamu?? "Beautiful Princess"! yessss,imagine tah dr paolo suruh introduce ur spanish names in front of d class, kalinya my turn.."my spanish name is .... bonita which means Beautiful princess!!"...THOING! i wonder how would d class react ah...kamu tah saja, wat d u think? ada kali eh gugur dari krusi heeehee...and we've learned d ELA ALPHABETO ESPANOL---The Spanish Alphabets..it was fun but zat, like dr paolo said "do not overdo the pronunciation";p mannn, im gonna miss that class..at least it helps to release stress..

There were many signs actually before i knew the "news". i've only realized it after i got the letter..Liyana and i was discussing on bio computation's assignment dat morning and she told me that only 5 of us left since the others decided to drop it. and she was like.."eh cana tu ah, since kitani 5 urg saja tinggal, then how are we supposed to divide ourselves into groups of two persons each?" i said "au ah, cana tu ah?" and she spontaneously replied, "tiga dua kali nah? p ko msti sama aku tu,jgn ko ah" and we laughed..and now Liyana, dont worry, only 4 persons left masani so u wont have to think hard how to actually divide the groups;p So so sorry fren...i broke my promise to be ur partner..i would love to be ur partner but i just cant..;'(my chest feel so heavy now and the "candy box" that we planned to, with the mini rubbish bin..buat ah, msti plg selalu check stock tu.and oh ya,dont forget the "lock".u noe what i mean;p

Another sign was when Yas came in after the Internet application class..he wanted to use a computer in the Unix Lab..and since each computer is dedicated to each of us who is taking the course, so he needed to ask one of us to log in everytime he wanted to use any of our computers..he didnt take that course hence the problem i remembered he was complaining sal he's d only 1 yg nada kana bagi computer..cian Yas~~hehe..and he said to me, "I need someone's root to log in p pyah jua" and i was like "au ah yas,cana tu ah..?" seee,it was a sign.. Yas, i've told eun to give u my root so that u can log in to mine, and now here i officially announce that "she" is yours;')jaga ia baik2 ah yasmi..sdih ku...;(

My parents wasnt acting normal that evening when i came back from Uni.like they were avoiding from looking into my "purple eyes"(contact lens Suria hehe)rite after i had my dinner, my babah called me and started to say things bebunga-bunga..and at that instance,i knew that something was not right and that "something" is not good..he then handed over the letter and it says URUSAN KERAJAAN KEBAWAH DULI..i opened it and there it was, the subject in BOLD.
I couldnt think rite when i read d letter..my eyes watered d moment i saw the word..TERMINATIONthen i acted..umm i dont know..i remembered i was screaming, i was on the floor..and the rest..only my family knows..

I could see that all my dreams shattered..my world turned black, so pitch black..I dont know where to go! I just dont know..;( how can they be so cruel to do this in my final year and it was because of only one basic course?? whyyyy? why???? i am so stressful;( drg inda kesiankan aku....?inda kah...?;'( i know that it is a regulation but arent rules are meant to be broken..? it's like a total deadlock to me...im trapped;'(

Well ppl, that's how life is rite? sometimes we're on top and sometimes d bawah..I've read ur blogs and all the poems, posts and comments..ur posts are the most beautiful thing that i have ever read;') honestly, i cant write beautiful poems or sumting similar, doesnt mean i dun love u guys but all of u do mean something to me...and it is very SPECIAL....all of u are special...really;'( i really miss kamu...mannnn im crying now,i cant stop it...;'((( and now we're far apart, p jgn lupakan aku ah...;'(u're all dat i have apart from my family n my special one..pls jgn lupakan aku ah..forgive me for all the wrongdoings yg pernah aku buat o mayb joke yg teover that may have hurt ur feelings..i wanted to hug u gals nanti;( guys cannot ah;p u ppl are the best ppl, the best frens that a person can have..it's difficult to find ppl mcm kamu..honestly..rmember ada drg pernah ckap yg how come kitani rapat as one class cos drg last time mcm bergroup-group in a class..? dats wat makes us special..and im very glad, so thankful that I am surrounded by very special bunch..;')i reaaallyyyyy miss u frens wahhhh...hari hari ku ingatkan kamu;'(msti ku nangis kalau ingat kamu...i dun have anyone here mcm kamu...u noe i feel so lonely here..my family da plg..p still i feel lonely..barutah aku pernah rasa sunyi bnar2..sal kamu nada...;'((((i wont tukar our frenship wif any barng pun..walaupun diamond kah platinum kah, p marak plg mata tu ah mliat diamond shining shining;')kamuuuu, i cant stop cryingggg;'((((

To eunice...ure d closest to me...like pa urg selalu ckap..every pertemuan mesti da perpisahan rite..?and this is what happening to us..;'((i've read ur blog tadi n u r also in difficulties rite..eun,dugaan ni..apapun, we need to xcept it kan..it'll make us stronger..trust me ok? 5 yrs is not bad..unlike me..yg nda kana bagi chance..ndaja..kan..? i noe kalau bulih kan ko pajal (ko andangnya pemajal ;p) p sumtymes it's better to listen to drg kan...sabar saja..take this as a challenge,i noe u can do it..dont ever give up..eun inda kitni smpat mengabiskan anime yg kuar darah dari idungnya ah;( no more hanging out in my room mcm byasa..u noe pa g ku ingat..?remember last thursday, u said u wanted to bring extra shirt and sluar next tyme u go to hostel? panas tu punya pasal kan..;p p inda sampat jua ko kan bebata;( eun, u better stop looking pc yg sebalah kiri mu atu! ko typed atu pun, buat aku nangis wah..aku sdih wah eun,aku malar imagine ko jalan sorang2 p aku nada sbalahmu;'((( ani inda tah ku craving g yg u-know-what-we-crave-on-slalu ;p ko nada, ndatah ku craving g..eksen tu kalau dtanya masa kan lunch,sorang2 nda kan ngakun kali last2 nya, food yg sama jua;p u dun 4get aku ahhh...;'(walaupun aku nada, doesnt mean aku inda ingat ko...send my regards to ur mummy, gtau sorry if kdg2 aku bawako jalan n den teantar lambat sumtymes;')take care of urself girl...

I think i better stop here cos my tears inda mau stop flowing! i am too sedih to leave kamu;'(...but yup life must go on rite..? pray d best for me will u..?and yes kamu semua are always in my prayers...always...love kamuuuu:'((((

Current song : Vitamin C -- Friends Forever
and also currently looking at our picture slides ;'((((